


(insert more banana here)

by junketsu_naruai



Category: Uta no Prince-sama
Genre: Crack, Crack Treated Seriously, Dark Comedy, Gen, Joker Trap, Swearing, and tokiya wants to hide and laugh, camus wants to die, ranmaru is a shitshow but i love him, ren's a living meme, yeehaw
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-06-07
Updated: 2019-06-07
Packaged: 2020-04-12 10:53:53
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 553
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19130572
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/junketsu_naruai/pseuds/junketsu_naruai
Summary: after a mission fails to go to plan, the four agents must turn to alternatives.





	(insert more banana here)

**Author's Note:**

> this was based on a friend's tweet that read "jt au where everything is the same but ran's weapon is banana". from there, i was inspired to write this fucking monstrosity.  
> enjoy.

The four agents congregate around a technological table, stern faces as holograms rise from the board. The mission didn't go as well as initially planned, so they would have to go back to the drawing board. 

“So, that went well.”

“You nearly died.”

“I didn’t say it went brilliantly!!”

Majestic Spade - formally known as Camus - clicks his tongue in response to Tricky Heart’s particularly ridiculous comment. It’s not as if it’s out of the ordinary for the strawberry blonde - also known as Ren - to make stupid comments or poke fun at their work, but it’s still irritating. Camus will never understand. He clears his throat and turns to the three agents.

“As we all know, the mission attempted today went incredibly badly. We should thank any supreme being that we are all still alive.”

Spiky Club nods silently, Perfect Diamond nods and Tricky Heart, the bastard he is, whispers “Thanks Miku.” under his breath.

“... Ren, did you just thank Hatsune fucking Miku?” Spiky Club - also known as Ran - leans towards the younger man, scowling slightly. In response, Ren pouts.

“He told me to thank any supreme being we know…”

Perfect Diamond - Toki - clicks his tongue out of disapproval and notions for the blonde to continue speaking.

“We’re going to need any new tactics we can think of to get past this gang. It appears to be that they’ve studied our previous missions, seeing past our plans.”

“Why can’t we call in other agents?” Toki glances at Camus hesitantly, as if he expected a negative reaction to his opinion. “Maybe the other four would be able to help? I can call the--”

Ran sighs loudly - and slightly sarcastically - and the three other men turn to face him. “I don’t think the so-called ‘Invincible Shinobi’ can give us a hand this time. It’s on us.”

Silence falls upon the room. Silence isn’t rare at all for the four agents - conversation is littered with sarcastic comments and bad jokes so they often choose to stay quiet. It isn’t awkward, though - each of the agents appreciate the serenity of silence.

Out of the almost peaceful quiet, Ran clears his throat and glances at the other men before wandering to his bag that sits on his desk and reaching inside slowly.

“You know, I might just have an answer to our issue.”

Ren gasps delicately, feigning a swoon. “Goodness, as expected of our ‘Spiky Club’!”

“What’s your idea then?” Toki steps forward.

“Yes. Don’t just stand there pathetically. Spit it out.” Camus almost seems to spit his words out, vicious like a snake about to bite its prey.

Ran chuckles. “No need to be so aggressive, Spade. I’ve got the ideal weapon that can give us a hand.”

He pulls his hand out of his bag - and the tension that had once been present in the room completely disappears.

Ren collapses into childlike giggles, Toki covers his face - both to hide his disappointment and the fact that he is also giggling - and Camus explodes.

“You really think that’s funny? A banana?! Really? This is not a joke!!”

The silver-haired agent grins, sauntering up to the blonde so that their noses are almost touching.

“You think this isn’t a joke? Because I’m finding it damn hilarious.”

“Get away from me, Spiky Club.”

“You can’t escape me, Majestic ‘Bastard’.”

“Tch.”

**Author's Note:**

> please do leave me feedback - my writing is not perfect, so i'd really appreciate ways i can improve!
> 
> thanks for reading, have a lovely day! :)


End file.
